I have steadily gained weight for the last year and a half of my life. I weigh more than I ever have. I absolutely hate seeing pictures of myself and I avoid mirrors at all costs. Today, I finally admitted that I've been in a certain amount of denial. I know the numbers on the scale have changed, I know most of my clothes don't fit, and I know I am out of shape. I also knew that I haven't been allowing myself to completely register how unhealthy I am because of all the emotion that would come along with the truth of my reality.
So, I stripped down and took a good hard look at myself.
I'm not sure I can even articulate how I feel. I'm scared, sad, worried, embarrassed and mad. I am overwhelmed. I am disgusted.
I know that it's possible to loose the weight. I worry that I won't do it. I know I have to change my diet. I am scared that I won't be able to break the habits I've developed.
After writing this, I know that I need help to accomplish my goals. I have 28 pounds to loose. I'm not sure I can do it on my own this time.
I don't know much, but I do know this; you have to be truthful with yourself if you want to change.
My Journey Against The Wind.
Friday, July 26, 2013
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Day one...again
I've been wanting to loose weight for a year and a half now. Everyday seems to be day one. I have the knowledge and the resources and the support I need. What I don't have is the motivation. That's why I started this blog. No one can loose the weight for me. I need to be my own inspiration and motivation. I've always been one of those girls who's never happy with how she looks. Now, at my heaviest, I want to go back to that thinner girl and shake her. "You get even fatter!" Enjoy your body now! You are young and thin! Own it!" When I was on high school I remember complaining about my weight to my no nonsense best friend. "Then do something about it," she responded. Simple but not easy. So this is the quote I'm holding onto:
"When everything seems to be going against you, remember that an airplane takes off going against the wind, not with it." - Henry Ford
"When everything seems to be going against you, remember that an airplane takes off going against the wind, not with it." - Henry Ford
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