A good hard look

I have steadily gained weight for the last year and a half of my life. I weigh more than I ever have. I absolutely hate seeing pictures of myself and I avoid mirrors at all costs. Today, I finally admitted that I've been in a certain amount of denial. I know the numbers on the scale have changed, I know most of my clothes don't fit, and I know I am out of shape. I also knew that I haven't been allowing myself to completely register how unhealthy I am because of all the emotion that would come along with the truth of my reality.

So, I stripped down and took a good hard look at myself.

I'm not sure I can even articulate how I feel. I'm scared, sad, worried, embarrassed and mad. I am overwhelmed. I am disgusted.

I know that it's possible to loose the weight. I worry that I won't do it. I know I have to change my diet. I am scared that I won't be able to break the habits I've developed.

After writing this, I know that I need help to accomplish my goals. I have 28 pounds to loose. I'm not sure I can do it on my own this time.

I don't know much, but I do know this; you have to be truthful with yourself if you want to change.

“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” 

― Gloria Steinem